Calling All Telemarketing Companies
This is NOT how you grab clients with a good first impression.
Backstory: I was calling some number to get myself un-subscribed from this pesky SMS competition nonsense that I swear to god I’ve un-subscribed from AT LEAST TWICE ALREADY. This is the pre-recorded introduction that ensued, and got me giggling:
Tankiu for calling ace insurance limited.
From eleven of june to twanny-fus of or-gest, ace is raunching our fus ever lucky draw! Fai out morabou how you can win a mer-such chair and moh werf over chree tao-sun dollar.
For policy and bulling ant query, press wan.
For claims ant query, press tur.
For policy cancellation, press chree.
Oh wiao.
PS: In case you haven’t realised, I have finally caved and decided to add a “Pangsaiglish category. :D
PPS: So I’ve received more than one request for the number - it seems you people doubt my CHRANKRISPSHUN KAYPERBEELEETIS. Tsk tsk. Anyhoo, emiao me if you want it lah. I just don’t think I should put it up here. :P
11 Responses to “Calling All Telemarketing Companies”
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August 7th, 2007 at 12:40 pm
omg! i lub the way you spewl!
i look forward to more pangsaiglish
August 7th, 2007 at 12:48 pm
you so kai, i gip yew wan mer-such chair. :)
anyway, you can read the angry rants on school-related pangsaiglish if you just click on the category. i was hoping that leaving the NUS e lang dept would rid me of pangsaiglish (ironically), but my hope was all in vain. alas.
August 7th, 2007 at 1:32 pm
Unfortchewnetly my transcrip-shun not as gud as yors leh, but I still laff kwai-yirt-lee whenevuh I kaw Singapore hotlines.
August 7th, 2007 at 1:47 pm
OMG…it took me more than 5 minutes to decipher that 7 lines!! LOL!
August 7th, 2007 at 5:41 pm
My colleagues all laughed at this - now they want the number to call….
August 7th, 2007 at 10:23 pm
jasmin: this one’s really the worst one i’ve ever heard haha.
bunny: if you want i give you later tonight, then you can pass to them tomorrow. :)
August 7th, 2007 at 11:12 pm
it’s disturbing how easily i zipped through that entire thing.
August 8th, 2007 at 1:24 am
belle: hah. yeah, i was just saying to vicki yesterday/this morning/sometime recently that i no longer need to mispronounce the word in my head then figure out the “wrong” spelling for it - now it’s second nature. can’t be a good thing.
steph also hates me ‘cos she can no longer say “help” properly. :)
August 8th, 2007 at 8:51 am
Hahahahaha pangsaiglish indeed….bery gud!
August 8th, 2007 at 7:26 pm
Its so funny I had to print it out and put it on my notice board, just so pple in the office can crack up too. Btw I work in a call centre too..
August 8th, 2007 at 8:07 pm
watts: haha, awesome! i’m very flattered that you printed it out! hope your colleagues liked it too, and ummm i hope i didn’t errr offend anyone. :P