Agreed. That can’t feel nice.

It’s been a long and tiring day, for more reasons than I care to think about right now.

Nap time with the bunny-shaped bolster! (Before we go out again to meet my favourite her-friend. If that makes sense.)

Hooray! :)

Anyone thinking of tying the knot soon, and looking for “venues off the beaten track for your solemnization of vows and wedding banquet”, look no further! The Jurong BirdPark is your obvious solution. May showers of blessings be released upon you when the 100 doves are released into the sky as the groom kisses the bride.

So I was reading brandon’s post on getting gadget money from quitting smoking. He’s right - one doesn’t often find a good incentive to quit/cut down smoking, apart from the health reasons which most of us really just brush aside.

Anyway I decided to do a quick tally-up and it seems that if I didn’t smoke for a year (and assuming cigarette prices didn’t go up - else that just increases my theoretical savings), I’d have enough money to buy the 16-35L lens, a tripod, a decent ballhead and still have loose change lying around to… I don’t know.. buy a new handphone. Or start a new bag fund. (Okay, starting a macbook pro fund would probably be more feasible.) Anyway. That’s a lot of money.

I wish smoking wasn’t so damn expensive (in Singapore). If I lived in Thailand or something there’s no way that I’d be able to come to the heartbreaking conclusion that I should really quit smoking. Another year would be a month long trip pseudo-backpacking around South East Asia (I say “pseudo” because I’m incapable really of slumming it unlike some friends claim to.) and probably a 3D2N run to Hong Kong - eating my heart out there since I don’t have to worry about accommodation.

Now. I know I’m incapable of going cold turkey. So I shall spend the next erm 3 hours in class (that I’m going to be laaaate for!) plotting how to go about doing this in order to amass the largest amount of funds possible and not slide backwards and smoke thrice the amount I normally do after “cutting down” for a couple of days.

See, if the government would implement monetary incentives like these for quitting smoking instead of cramming us all into yellow boxes that, despite my imagination, doesn’t miraculously keep the smoke out from the non-smoking areas, I’m sure their anti-smoking campaign would be waaaay more successful.

Free money to “save my health” (and contribute to my lens fund) for quitting smoking? I’d be bloody first in line.

Tucked away in Greenwood Avenue, with a minimalistic facade and zen decor, is one of Singapore’s best Japanese restaurants. Shiro Japanese Haute Cuisine is an exclusive 32-seater eatery with a strict reservations-only policy. And with their ingredients flown in almost daily, fresh from Tokyo, and their steep prices, they’ve got every right to be so exclusive.

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Comfort never ceases to amuse me.

No points for guessing which of the above I am. 50mm f/1.2 L USM?! Sigh. As if the 50mm f/1.4 wasn’t enough to covet, since 50mm (which becomes 80mm with the 1.6x magnification factored in) is pretty much my favourite focal length. And the 35mm f/1.4L wasn’t expensive enough. (Any lens that is more expensive than my camera body is automatically way out of my budget.) And I’m not even going to get started on the 70-200mm f/4 L IS. Nor the 100mm f/2.8 macro IS which I’m sure will make an appearance soon enough, considering there’s already the Nikkor 105mm f/2.8 VR micro. If only Canon’s grand announcement had been an updated 5D or a Mark III - since those I’ll never be able to afford anyway. So it really wouldn’t have made any difference to me.

SERIOUSLY. As if I don’t have enough things to lust after, what with the whole damn to 17-40L or not to 17-40L internal debate. (The 17-40L is now the cheaper of my options, oh I’m so damn screwed.)

I should never have bought a fucking dSLR. Bloody money sucker. I’m going to be in debt for the rest of my life. Seriously.

ANYONE WHO’S THINKING OF BUYING A DSLR - DON’T! UNLESS YOU HAVE AN ENDLESS FOUNT OF MONIES (of which you should then consider donating some to me), DON’T DO IT! RESIST!

(Just rent mine. Hehehehehe.)

Finally managed to find an IndigNation event that I wanted to go for and didn’t have other plans clashing with, and purposefully marched on over. Of the few gay community events that I’ve attended, this was probably one that I felt was more worthwhile, supporting the cause of coming out (of the closet) and doing so with your friends, family and loved ones.

For those who may not have heard, SQ21 - Singapore Queers in the 21st Century is a book containing 15 personal testimonies from queer Singaporeans who have come out to their loved ones, and the effects that it has had on them. Coming out is not easy for almost anyone who lives in Singapore, where members of the LGBT are usually considered almost second-class citizens, not deserving of usual rights (like marriage, for example) that all (read: heterosexual) Singaporeans are awarded. The constant stigma of being viewed in a negative light is one that all people (not even heterosexuals escape this one) fear, so it’s really no surprise that one might be unwilling to come out especially to family or in the professional workplace.

I must add though, that I think Singapore’s come a long way. Non-heterosexuals are now accepted in civil service, and although I may not be able to marry the woman I love and have it recognized in our garden city, I’m also able to walk around holding hands with her, kissing her in public if I so choose to, and I don’t get immediately dragged off to jail for it. Some may not see this as much, but to me it is, and I guess you could say that I’m thankful for what I can get. The society we live in today may still be a far cry from the all-accepting Utopia most LGBT seek, but we should still stop and recognize what we have that others may not yet, and appreciate that.

Back to the topic - I found it heartwarming that there were parents amongst the crowd at this evening’s event; parents who’d taken the time to show their support for their children who have come out to them. For someone who’s out to almost all of her friends, I sometimes wonder if I’ll ever have the courage to speak about this with my own parents - my parents who have previously shown their clear disapproval of such “perverse choices” people make - and whether they’ll be able to see then that the daughter they know and love, i.e. their bisexual daughter, remains the same person that they can continue to know and love.

Like I said - maybe, someday.

I was in a cab today on my way to Raffles Place, and I had the unfortunate luck of being accosted by an overzealous, chatty, probably partially deaf taxi driver. The following exchange, please note, is not meant in any derogatory way against any racial minority groups in Singapore - I’m just quoting verbatim the ridiculous conversation I had.

taxi driver (TD): xiao jie, ni yao zai na li ting che ah? (miss, where would you like to alight?)
me: erm, the MRT please?

[I understand mandarin perfectly well, but make a point to not speak it since my mandarin sucks so badly I'm bound to be misunderstood and anyway I belong to the camp that believes service staff should speak English.]

TD: eh. you chinese or malay har?
me: erm.. half chinese. not malay.
TD: oh. but you understand chinese ah?
me: er yeah, but I don’t speak it very well.
TD: orhhh.. cos i look at you i dunno if you chinese or malay lah.
me: mmm.
TD: ‘cos you look chinese lah. you don’t look malay. but your skin colour a bit darker so i thought maybe malay. but then you don’t speak with the malay accent. you also don’t have the malay slang.
me: yeah, i’m not malay.
TD: yah that’s why! but then har how come you don’t speak with the malay slang then you talk also don’t have malay accent one?
me: er.. because I’m not malay?
TD: YAH but then you don’t speak with the malay accent and you talk don’t have the malay slang lah! that’s why I confused.
me: yes, I’m not malay. [getting very tired of this.]
TD: YA! ‘cos no malay accent lah! no malay slang also.
me: …

TD: so miss. you want to stop where?
me: MRT please.

Not that I have anything against being malay, but er… I’m just not malay!

And maybe one day I’ll take photos like Ashwin too.

(Photo taken by GnoKy.)